This has caused so much controversy it is incredible. It has been misinterpreted and misunderstood in the few hours since it was written. The point of the story is the righteousness of Lot.

GENGHIS. How did that fellow - what's his name?

HANNIBAL. Lot.

GENGHIS. Lot. How the hell did that fool Lot get on to the Borough Council?

HANNIBAL. I can't remember. He's been mixed up with politics since - well, since as long as I can remember.

GENGHIS. I suppose you're too young to remember Abraham's political life. Anyhow, Lot's gay rights voting record is appalling.

HANNIBAL (effeminately). Oh, I know, I know.

GENGHIS. I read an article in The Times this morning about him. There [giving HANNIBAL The Times] - can you read?

(HANNIBAL shakes head. Puts the newspaper on the table next him.)

GENGHIS. Well, it will be a good day for Sodom the day he leaves it, you mark my words. Just you mark my words. He's voted against gay couples adopting children, against gay marriage; I heard the other day he was in favour of criminalizing gay sex. He really has a problem with LGBT people. Do you know what I think?

HANNIBAL. No.

GENGHIS. I think he's a self-righteous hypocritical homophobic narrow-minded stupid pompous stuck-up right-wing naïve pretentious vile uncomprehending ignorant pious witless holier-than-thou neurotic obsessive Telegraph-reading fundamentalist deranged medieval psychopathic zealot with no experience of life.



(HANNIBAL nods in agreement.)



Enter FREDERICK.



FREDERICK. Oh, is that Lot you're talking about? Our family call him Snot.



(All three roll about laughing for thirty-five minutes.)



[FREDERICK.] But I don't think it's true that he's got no experience of life - he has some experience. Of...



GENGHIS. Of what? Being on the Council?! (Snorts.)

FREDERICK. Well, he has some experience of political life.

GENGHIS. Experience, yes, but I don't think he's learned anything from his experience. Remember the time when...damn! I've forgotten.

HANNIBAL. What do you mean?

GENGHIS. He still insists on his outdated views and wants to impose them on the rest of us. Out of touch! He's out of touch with the people of this country, and it will bring about his downfall. A dinosaur, straight out of the Cretaceous era.

HANNIBAL. Out of the what?

GENGHIS. The... oh, never mind.

FREDERICK. I think his presence in this city is a public scandal, and we'd be better off without him.

GENGHIS & HANNIBAL. Hear, hear!

GENGHIS. Yes, that's just what I was saying. Personally I think he just sets out to be controversial for the sake of it. I think he sets out to rile people.

HANNIBAL. I agree.

FREDERICK. I hope so, otherwise there must be something wrong with him. For anyone to hold the views he has with such...God damn it... (looking for the right word) CONVICTION... must have mental health problems in my opinion. I am serious.

GENGHIS. But, as I was saying to Hannibal here, Lot's voting record in the Council on gay rights is positively appalling. The sooner we are rid of that obnoxious, evil man, the better.

HANNIBAL & FREDERICK. Hear, hear!

GENGHIS. Oh, Hannibal, could you hand me the paper again?



(Hannibal hands Genghis The Times.)



[GENGHIS.] I wanted to look at the weather forecast. (Reading.) Tuesday: rain, very hot.



(22nd September, 2010.)


Needless to say, that provoked a reaction. And that is good.