The Grand Climacteric

At six minutes past last midnight by my clock - that is, at approximately four minutes past midnight G. M. T. -, I reached the Grand Climacteric.

- What is the grand climacteric? I hear you cry.

To answer your question - and I have to say, I admire the fact that you have the courage to ask questions, rather than sitting there like a lemon afraid that if you ask a question people will think that you are stupid -
To answer your question, I say, I shall quote this passage from The Path to Rome:

LECTOR. What is the Grand Climacteric?
AUCTOR. I have no time to tell you, for it would lead us into a discussion on Astrology, and then perhaps to a question of physical science, and then you would find I was not orthodox, and perhaps denounce me to the authorities.
I will tell you this much; it is the moment (not the year or the month, mind you, nor even the hour, but the very second) when a man is grown up, when he sees things as they are (that is, backwards), and feels solidly himself. Do I make myself clear? No matter, it is the Shock of Maturity, and that must suffice for you.
But perhaps you have been reading little brown books on Evolution, and you don't believe in Catastrophes, or Climaxes, or Definitions? Eh? Tell me, do you believe in the peak of the Matterhorn, and have you doubts on the points of needles? Can the sun be said truly to rise or set, and is there any exact meaning in the phrase 'Done to a turn' as applied to omelettes? You know there is; and so also you must believe in Categories, and you must admit differences of kind as well as of degree, and you must accept exact definition and believe in all that your fathers did, that were wiser men than you, as is easily proved if you will but imagine yourself for one moment introduced into the presence of your ancestors, and ask yourself which would look the fool. Especially must you believe in moments and their importance, and avoid with the utmost care the Comparative Method and the argument of the Slowly Accumulating Heap. I hear that some scientists are already beginning to admit the reality of Birth and Death - let some brave few make an act of Faith in the Grand Climacteric and all shall yet be well.


Now, some Pedant will come along and tell me some old rot about climacterics being the critical years in a person's life, and that the first is 7, and the others are all multiples of 7 - and the grand climacteric is usually 63, but can also be 49 or 81. (Because 81 is 9 times 9 - 9 being, of course, the forgotten multiple of 7.)

But I reached the REAL Grand Climacteric this very day. So mote it be. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.